I've grown pretty freaking tired of Facebook lately. Not tired enough to do the gutsy thing, like Sean, and pull out like it's Prom night. But tired enough to limit usage to a few minutes a few times a week. There's just no rhyme or reason to whiling away precious hours of life in the digital version of Eliot's Wasteland.
Yes, Facebook's value warrants existence. Fantastic networking capabilities, easy/free communication with friends abroad, near limitless photo-storage potential. I can sleep easy knowing that, should my laptop die completely (for a third time) my best photos are safe not only on a 250-gig external hard drive but the oh-so-accessible World Whacked Web. However, annoying crap like this turns me off the whole damn thing. "25 Random Things"? Why not just start a blog, where those who give the slightest hoot can read it and the rest of the world can remain blissfully unaware.
So, the 10 things I hate most about Facebook:
1. Facechat- MSN Instant Messenger and GoogleChat weren't enough already? Just one more way to drunkenly hit on people online after an unsuccessful night of drunkenly hitting on people in bars.
2. Applications- Huh. I've visited 13 percent of the world. Does anyone else care? No. Do I even care? No.
3. Notifications- My Kingdom needs me? So-and-so I met through him-or-her commented on him-or-her's status? Jesus Christ. (oh, I should friend him...)
Which brings me to...
4. Friending- Oh, oh, oh! I have more friends that YOU! I have more friends than YOU! What, Jim Bexley wrote on my wall?! Wait, who's Jim Bexley...
(Btdubs: Thank you, Facebook, for turning yet another noun into a verb.)
5. Photo tagging- I like posting photos, but do we really have to broadcast who is who? If I wanted to include cutlines, I'd apply to a freaking newspaper.
6. The "Scrabulous" controversy- I really liked Scrabulous. I'm fairly certain it saved me from losing my last semblance of sanity while working as arts editor for the Montana Kaimin. Hasbro needs to get off its high-horse and realize the umpteen millions it makes off Scrabble a year are enough.
7. Hogwarts House sorting- If I'm told one more time that I'm a fucking Hufflepuff, I'm killing someone.
8. The "New" Facebook- The fact that Facebook is important enough for people to dedicate time to inventing "new and better" versions strikes me as sad. Very, very sad.
9. Relationship status- Do I really need to clarify?
10. Family members- The BIGGEST point of hatred, by far. The only thing worse than being stalked by some creepy sophomore on Facebook is being stalked by your own kin. Does my mother want to hear from relative A or B or D that I was caught on camera doing shots last October? Nopers.
These points aside, I despise Facebook for the same reason I came out against LiveJournal, MySpace, MSN profiles and the like earlier on. They provide nothing more than an opportunity for insecure young folk to present the version of themselves they want the rest of the world to see. Movie interests, friends, profile pics. The Internet has too long provided an unhealthy outlet for adolescent angst. Facebook is just a symptom of the disease, one which will breed a generation unsure of itself well beyond its early twenties. It's a social mask, and it's high time users realized that. When they do perhaps Facebook will evolve once more, this time adopting utilitarian value measurable in something more than gigabytes.
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2 comments:
Far more eloquent than my argument against The Book: It's like a party that's just gotten way too crowded. Oh, and someone put acid in your beer. Bottoms up!
Thnks that now im sure about a biggest thing. I HATE THAT FACE-FREAKN-BOOK!
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